I still and always have viewed life in a different way than most. By different, I mean seeing every day life as a blob of random thoughts all smashed together rather than a sequence of events.
It made sense to me, but it made me seem like I was just a really random person- that my thoughts came out of nowhere. But to me, its not random. Really my thoughts come from that smashed blob of thought thats always flying through my mind. Some of what people think is random makes sense to me, but it wouldn't make sense to other people who have that linear thought process going on. By being a 'random' person, it set myself apart from everyone else.
Years ago I never thought I had a big disorder. I looked at it as "its just me" and I could never change it. This chaotic, random way I'd been living had become a way of life. It had become comfortable, or rather I just resigned myself to feeling different. I lost hope in myself in a lot of ways and dealt with that but just ignoring things that were happening or reacting in anger to anything that reminded me of my faults. I was stuck like that for years and I didn't realize how it was affecting me or the people around me, but I know now that it was. I didn't figure this out until a year or two ago.
It made sense to me, but it made me seem like I was just a really random person- that my thoughts came out of nowhere. But to me, its not random. Really my thoughts come from that smashed blob of thought thats always flying through my mind. Some of what people think is random makes sense to me, but it wouldn't make sense to other people who have that linear thought process going on. By being a 'random' person, it set myself apart from everyone else.
Years ago I never thought I had a big disorder. I looked at it as "its just me" and I could never change it. This chaotic, random way I'd been living had become a way of life. It had become comfortable, or rather I just resigned myself to feeling different. I lost hope in myself in a lot of ways and dealt with that but just ignoring things that were happening or reacting in anger to anything that reminded me of my faults. I was stuck like that for years and I didn't realize how it was affecting me or the people around me, but I know now that it was. I didn't figure this out until a year or two ago.
