Standing on the edge of a cliff #1

The afternoon was overcast with a slight chill of 65 degrees. The clouds  were pure white as the wet rain came trickling downward. I was standing around on the green grass staring off at the street. In my hand was a pink and white striped Hula Hoop. Thoughts came into my head with mindless logics of how to Hula! Minutes run by and I heard voices from behind. From the side of my body, I glared over and it was y sister and her friend. Right off the bat, I thought to take the Hula Hoop, jump off the 4ft ledge and round up the sister. Without thinking of the consequences, the feet underneath the body bolted across the green grass. Seconds later, my body flung off the lawn, off the ledge, being suspended in mid air and my hands above the head with the Hula Hoop intact. I look down and within a second I realized this action was stupid. As my body hammered downward fall, I missed both the ladies bodies and nailed the hard concrete with my forehead. A minute runs by and my sister had been comforting me and making sure I wasn't dead. I came too, shacked off the birdies flying above the head, gave two thumbs up and was taken into the house.
     I look back at the life story and realize with ADD, I have to stop and recalculate my actions before I peruse a stunt like the wrangling Hula Hoop situation. 

The beginning...

I still and always have viewed life in a different way than most. By different, I mean seeing every day life as a blob of random thoughts all smashed together rather than a sequence of events.

It made sense to me, but it made me seem like I was just a really random person- that my thoughts came out of nowhere. But to me, its not random. Really my thoughts come from that smashed blob of thought thats always flying through my mind. Some of what people think is random makes sense to me, but it wouldn't make sense to other people who have that linear thought process going on. By being a 'random' person, it set myself apart from everyone else.

Years ago I never thought I had a big disorder. I looked at it as "its just me" and I could never change it. This chaotic, random way I'd been living had become a way of life. It had become comfortable, or rather I just resigned myself to feeling different. I lost hope in myself in a lot of ways and dealt with that but just ignoring things that were happening or reacting in anger to anything that reminded me of my faults. I was stuck like that for years and I didn't realize how it was affecting me or the people around me, but I know now that it was. I didn't figure this out until a year or two ago.

This blog is dedicated to family, friends and whoever has been around or dealt/deal with people who have Attention Deficit Disorder. My name is Seth and I have Attention Deficit Disorder.